It’s OK To Let Some Things Go

Oh boy does life get overwhelming sometimes! I have a lot on my plate as a mom working from home. I have writing deadlines, I have advertiser deadlines and conference calls to make all while making…

Source: It’s OK To Let Some Things Go

Don’t Forget I Moved (Sort of)

Hello everyone!!

Just a reminder that as of February 1st my blog moved from a WordPress.com site to a self hosted site!! This is an exciting opportunity for me and I am hoping you’ll join with me by resubscribing via email to receive updated posts each week!

Here is the link to my most recent post and giveaway!

Friday Favorites- Perfectly Posh Valentine’s Giveaway posted February 12 2016

This link takes you directly to The Whatever Mom blog. While there enter the give away and consider signing up via email to get new posts delivered directly to your inbox each week. You’ll never miss another post or giveaway again!

 

Here are a few of my most top rated posts circulating social media right now:

Socks Vs. The Souffle posted January 27th 2016

 

The Bitterness In My Parenting posted January 20th. Syndicated on Parenting News

 

 

She’s Come Undone posted January 13th. Syndicated to Mamapedia

As always you can access The Whatever Mom via your web browser by typing in http://www.thewhatevermom.com, or make it easier by subscribing to have updates automatically delivered.

It is my goal for 2016 to make blogging and writing a full time career. I have counted on your support for the last two years, and I hope I can count on your support again this year!! It’s the readers that make the blog!! So, thank you ALL so much!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

 

Roxanne

 

The Whatever Mom is a full-time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

Moving, but not moving.

 

Hello Dear Readers!

I have decided to make the leap and move my blog to a self hosted site. I am making this big change so that I can better serve my readers with nicer graphics, layouts and maybe a future newsletter option. It is exciting to see my blog growing! It is because of all of you. I am so grateful to each of you for signing up to receive my posts each week!

My domain http://www.thewhatevermom.com remains the same! However, if you were subscribed via email on my WordPress.com site, you may need to sign up again to continue receiving my new posts each week.

You can do this by visiting my site www.thewhatevermom.com and entering your email address in the side bar on the right hand side of the page. That’s it! I’m sorry for the inconvenience of an extra step, but I wouldn’t want to loose our connection.

As of February 1st, 2016 I will no longer be posting from this site. But, I promise I will continue to post each week. My goal for this year is to bring you deeper insights into the struggles parents face, and what I am facing as I walk this parenting journey. I hope you will continue the walk with me!! I’ll also continue to bring you my fabulous finds and great giveaways, some new guest writers and contributors and whatever else I can think up to bring quality content to your inbox.

Thank you all so much for your patience as I take this new leap forward! I will try not to spring any more big changes on you for a while. All my best in the new year and beyond!!

Don’t forget to check out my CURRENT giveaway (until Midnight tonight 1/22). You can find that here http://www.thewhatevermom.com/?p=2583 

xox

Roxanne a.k.a. The Whatever Mom 

As always you can find me on: Facebook Pinterest Twitter: @Whatevermom2 and at The Whatever Mom Bloglovin Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy

 

 

Friday Favorites-IntelliDent Toothbrush Shield – FLASH Giveaway

January is the perfect time to re-organize things around the home. I like to start my “spring cleaning” now so that once Spring arrives I can be outside. One of the first rooms I tackle is our main bathroom. Scrubbing and cleaning the tile is essential, but I also like to clean out our storage closet and medicine cabinet. I toss out old or expired medicines and update my beauty supplies. One thing in my bathroom that I am not crazy about is the plastic covers I use on each of our tooth brushes.

I try to replace the covers each time I change out our tooth brushes (every 2-3 months), but once those caps are used I can’t just toss them into the recycling bin. So they end up in our landfill. I also worry about germs and viruses gathering on our toothbrushes. Keeping them covered and in the medicine cabinet creates a nice dark, damp place for little bugs to breed. If you’re like me, you don’t have time for stomach bugs and viruses!

So, when Lisa Smith, Executive Vice President of IntelliDent Products contacted me for a review I was excited to try these out! Lucky for you Dear Readers, she was generous and sent extras to GIVEAWAY!

Here is what I love about the IntelliDent Toothbrush Shields:

These covers are breathable, dry quickly and perform like a surgical mask for your tooth brush! The plastic covers keep the toothbrushes damp and collect tooth paste teaming with bacteria. Yuck!

Each cover blocks against 99.9% of airborne and surface bacteria. (Did you know your toilet can contaminate your bathroom surfaces within a six foot radius in you bathroom?).

The antimicrobial preventive protection of these covers lasts up to 7 days, then you can toss into the trash. It takes up less room in the can and degrades much faster than plastic.

Covers are individually sealed to ensure a fresh product every time.

The covers are so easy to slide over a tooth brush my five year olds don’t need any help. (However, they are disappointed they can not select their favorite colors and decided to add a sticker to their covers). My family started using these covers over a month ago. Now that I know the benefits and can see the difference, I won’t be using those plastic covers any more!

IntelliDent products are made in the USA by a women owned company. They also make a Mouth Guard Shield. The covers are not available in stores, but are available online at Walmart.com, Drugstore.com, Walgreens.com .

Orrrrr, you can just enter here for your very own 10 pack to try! TWO lucky readers will win!

Click on the Raffle Copter link to be directed to your entry form!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
https://widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js

Don’t forget there is always a chance for bonus entries!

 

The Whatever Mom was provided with free samples of IntelliDent Toothbrush Shields in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this post belong solely to The Whatever Mom. 

 

The Whatever Mom is a full-time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

The Bitterness In My Parenting

I was chatting with a friend and a seasoned mom about her grown kids, and how she’s moved on to grandma status. She was marveling over how big my kids are already. As we continued the conversation about my life with kids I commented, “I think it would be different if I had a mom, or a sister I could call to come over when I need help.” She replied, “oh so you do this alone, ALONE.” Yep.

I do have a husband, but he works outside of the home most days and the larger portion of the child rearing falls on me. Yes, I know single parents have it more difficult and I would never minimize their hard work. My own mother is a single mom. However, she was able to send us off to my grandparents on weekends and during the summer. My mom lives several hours away and is unable to drive. Growing up I loved when my aunts and uncles would drop in to spend time with us. It is rare my family makes the trip to visit us. I remember running around the yard and having sleep overs with my cousins. My kids are the youngest in our family.

My husband and I typically get one date night a year. We did not celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary two years ago, and we have never gone away on a vacation alone. I know my situation is not unique. There are thousands of other couples living like this. But, what I have a hard time with is when jealousy takes hold of me. It’s hard not to feel envious of friends whose parents go on vacations with them to make it easier. Or, how many of my friends get to go away with their husbands alone for birthdays or anniversaries. Or, how much fun my friend’s kids have celebrating “cousins day.”

I hate that I get jealous. It’s typically not in my nature. But, here I am. I just want my kids to have what other kids have, a big family to cherish them. I want my kids to have fun memories of jumping on beds at sleep overs with their cousins. Or, spending holidays surrounded by family. It would be really cool if they had an aunt or uncle to take them out to the movies or on picnics. It isn’t about having time for me, or getting a regular date night with my husband (although either would be appreciated). It’s about my kids having more than just mom and dad.

As twins I know they’ll always have each other, but that isn’t a relationship they can fully appreciate until much older. I worry they won’t get to have the closeness with their extended family like I did growing up. I worry one day they will be disappointed with their childhood.

Yes, I do this alone without the physical and emotional support an extended family can provide. It’s hard most days. It’s lonely and I get jealous of my friends. I have accepted it’s just the four of us. Thankfully, I am learning to move my bitterness to happiness for my friends. I don’t know why life worked out this way, but I know I can’t change it. So, we make the best of what we have together, even if it’s just me, a husband and two kids.

The Whatever Mom is a full-time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

 

Friday Unfavorites- Computer Crash

For the second time this year my computer has failed me. Womp. Womp. I am sending my life line to the digital world out for repairs. Keep your fingers crossed I am up and running quick! I have so many fabulous things to share with all of you!!

Hopefully by this time next week not only will I have a functional computer, but I will have successfully moved my blog to a self hosting site! I feel like this is the year of Roxanne and to take my blog to the next level this is the first step!! I’m so excited!!

 

Have a great weekend and see you all real soon!

 

The Whatever Mom is a full time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

She’s Come Undone

Man do I love my kids. I really truly do. They are the reason I get up out of bed every day, and the reason I battle against perfection. From the day they were born they were independent little sensitive souls who have consumed all of my physical and emotional energy.

One of the great myths about twins is that there’s always one “easy going” twin. Maybe I hit the mother lode when I received two very demanding and high strung kiddos. My little loves will go to fisticuffs over who gets to spend time in my lap. Sometimes I have to just walk away and leave them both to cry. That KILLS me. I never know which one I should comfort first. When I try to comfort both at the same time they won’t allow it. I often think I am the worst mom on the planet because I can’t handle how overwhelming it is to have them both so needy at the same time. They get so unreasonable with the screaming and crying that it escalates into total and complete chaos.

I rarely share this part of my parenting because the standard response is, “I just wouldn’t put up with that.” Well, that implies that my parenting is weak. Let me tell you, no parent could handle the intense demands of two VERY strong willed children and come out a winner (and yes, I have tried behavior charts, reward systems, Early Intervention and even a behavior therapist). I don’t get angry at those statements anymore because I was that person before I became a parent. I was THE PERFECT PARENT before I even had kids.

What I have learned is that kids will push and pull you in directions you never thought possible. I have sat in a corner and cried because my kids’ behaviors have forced me to become a screaming, impatient wreck. I have felt wild and unhinged; a rare experience for me before parenting. I was patient and calm and could keep my cool under some serious pressure. Now I can come undone so quickly.

Why am I sharing this now? Well, I want other parents feeling guilty and overwhelmed to know it’s going to be OK. Our kids over the top behaviors and emotions can leave us feeling defeated and unprepared, and even knock the wind out of us for a moment. But, we just keep getting right back up. We take a breath. We take some time for ourselves. We empty the guilt and refill our compassion. We find the reset button and remind ourselves that tomorrow is another day. Sometimes all it takes is leaving your kiddo in their room to cry it out, while you go to your room and do the same. Or, it takes a phone call to a friend to talk it through. And sometimes tagging out when your spouse returns home, or asking a neighbor to sit with your kids while you take a walk.

No matter what, remember you are doing a great job moms (and dads). You are working hard at loving your kids. Even on those days it feels like love is the hardest thing to do. No one really talks about the difficult side of parenting, or the deep pain you will feel some days. Those moments happen for so many of us, yet so few of us are willing to share it. It doesn’t mean we love our kids less. It means we are human. And by sharing our struggles it assures us we are not alone.

The Whatever Mom is a full-time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

 

Friday Favorites – Alyssa Milano

Good morning!! I hope you will watch this clip of a very honest discussion about breast feeding. I like that it shows opposing views and each party is respectful in their exchange.

 

Breast feeding is one of the most divisive and controversial topics in parenting today. Growing up I don’t remember it being such an issue. I remember being curious about it as a kid and my mother explaining to me that’s how some moms feed their babies. Notice she didn’t say all moms. She left room for other moms, like herself, who formula fed. She was a working mom and if she had wanted to breast feed she would have. But, no one questioned her or shamed her for her choice.

I have steered clear of this topic until now because it can be so alienating to some moms. Myself included. I wasn’t able to breast feed my babies and most people think it is because I have twins. I know several twin moms who breast feed successfully and for over a year! Unfortunately, I couldn’t feed my babies because my milk supply never came in. I was ready and prepared to breast feed them. I felt a truly deep despair when it couldn’t happen. I felt like a failure before I even left the hospital five days after giving birth. So, for the first year I had to feed my babies formula.

It took me nearly three years to get over that feeling of guilt. I felt like it was my biggest failure as a mom. Not only was that because of the pressure I put on myself, but also because of the pressure of “breast is best.” Since I couldn’t give my kids the “best” I had failed. I stood quietly in the middle of the mommy war hearing judgments from both camps. I’ve met the finger wagers who spout statistics about health benefits of breast milk. I’ve met the moms who are too ashamed to feed their babies in public so they let them cry out, or hide themselves away. I’ve met the moms who participate in breast feed-ins and feed their babies openly in defiance. I’ve also met moms who have said breast feeding is not for me and boldly choose formula.

Here’s the thing… moms just want to feed their kids. Why is this deserving of media coverage, argument and a division? Why are we (moms included) relegating motherhood to the peripheral? Not only are breast feeding moms expected to remove themselves from view, but so are moms who have kids melting down in public, or moms who have “too many kids.” Why is motherhood so marginalized and minimized? Doesn’t it take a village to raise a child? So, why is my village sending me away and shaming me for my choices? Every family is different so why are we trying to put each other into a box that makes other people’s parenting a more acceptable and palatable experience for ourselves?

Here’s to the moms who choose to put their baby’s nutritional needs first- whether you choose formula, or breast milk you are making the right choice for your child. No one can ask for more than that! 😉

 

The Whatever Mom is a full time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

Sit Down! Shut Up! I’M In Control Here!

This week has been full of so many great things: great friends, great food and great conversations. What surprises me most is the number of moms I talk with (friends and strangers) who absolutely agree with me that parenting is the hardest job. (I thought for sure I’d find someone who thinks this is all just breezy). It’s not just the monotony of the daily routine that’s hard, although that can wear on a mom too, it’s the emotional ups and downs our kids have that have us reacting like someone just scratched their nails along a chalk board. (Or insert any other spine tingling, nerve attacking sensation).

I find it reassuring when I meet other moms who have “difficult” “spirited” or “challenging” children. It makes me feel like; OK I’m not the only parent who questions their abilities on a near daily basis. I’m not the only mom losing her mind trying to understand why … just WHY can’t my kids wipe their own butts? Why do they fight so much? Why can’t they drink from a cup without spilling it all over themselves? (Seriously kids, it’s not rocket science it’s a cup!). Why do they need a band aid for an imaginary cat? Why does their teddy bear need a band aid too? And for the love, why does the world screech to a halt when someone’s sister sits THISCLOSE?!

Some days with two talking Tina’s duct tape is tempting.

Kids. I love them, but they drive me crazy! Mine can certainly test my limits. But, isn’t that what childhood is for? Testing limits and learning just what makes this crazy world tick? I have to keep reminding myself that my kids are learning something about life and the world around them whenever they freak out when someone bumps ahead of them, or they cry because the shopping cart they want is gone. It can seem like such an annoyance, and yes some days it is when I’m in a hurry. But, (grrrr) it’s my stinking job to teach them how to get through these moments. I have to use my “nice” voice to model for them how to correctly and appropriately respond. I can’t say things like, “shut up and sit down! I’M in charge here!!” no matter how much I REALLY want to!

OK, don’t shut up entirely, but sitting still for a full minute might be nice!

I think some days the hardest part about parenting is digging deep to find that self-restraint, that self-control that is going to teach my kids the right way to handle a situation. Guess what? I fail. A lot. Like, really fail. I may or may not have ripped the handle off of my husband’s driver’s side car door in response to a screaming child who just bit her sister. In my defense, I did a spectacular job ignoring her glass shattering screams for the first two hours of our two and a half hour road trip. It was that last half hour that did me in. I also confess I had no idea what I was going to do once I got that door open. All I know is I pulled over and wanted to get out of that car FAST. I am happy to report we all made it home in one piece (of which I reminded my husband as I hung my head in shame and handed over the door handle to his car). 

(Full disclosure: I don’t have 4 kids, but I do have twins. That’s like drowning and someone throws you a bagel).

My point in all of this is, well we’ve all been there. It’s really true. At some point every single parent will feel like they have zero control over their child’s behavior. I think those of us who take this “raising productive humans” thing so deeply serious are the ones who are freaking out the most. We are feeling the pressure of doing everything right the first time. Truth is, no one gets it right the first time. That’s why most people get a practice kid (sorry first born). You get a chance to see that all that freaking out isn’t going to change a darn thing and it is certainly not going to motivate your kids into getting their shit together either. 

So to my mom friends who keep me real and help me see parenting from a broader perspective, I thank you. If it wasn’t for all of you screwing up your own kids first, I’d never feel this good about doing whatever I’m doing just to survive my day! (Don’t worry I’m messing up my kids too *wink*). 

Do you ever feel like you’re alone in your parenting struggles?

 

The Whatever Mom is a full time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

2015 in review

We are just days away from a new year. I can’t help but look back on 2015 with much appreciation for all of you! I am blown away by how many people follow and comment on my blog each week!

WordPress put together this annual report for The Whatever Mom, complete with site stats and most popular posts. Feel free to read through. 

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 8,600 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 3 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

I am also excited to share that I was recently interviewed for I Am a Hudson Valley Parent. I have been lucky enough to blog for Hudson Valley Parent for the last two years. I am honored to be a featured parent in 2016.

One of the questions I was asked about my blogging revealed an answer that surprised me. I shared that the toughest thing for me about writing my blog is revealing the darker parts of parenting, the less glamorous and talked about struggles.

This has me thinking, what parenting topics would you all like to see discussed in 2016? Please feel free to comment below with your suggestions or email them to Whatevemom@gmail.com

I look forward to continuing to grow my blog with desirable content, building my Whatever Army and connecting with new friends! Thank you all so much for a great year! See you all in 2016!!

The Whatever Mom is a full time mom and part time crazy lady living off the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry, sandwich making and writing her blog. It is her dream parents every where will join her Whatever Army and accept that we are all in this together!